The First Morning
by Tita "Lyriana" Martinez
I hope you've rested
your beautiful body,
Enlightened confusions
from your brilliant mind,
Revitalized the energy
within your powerful spirit,
Soothed away any
affliction from your gracious soul,
Tended to the wounds
and pampered your loving heart.
For this is the dawn
of a new era of your life,
The beginning of your
blissful golden years,
The time to commence a
fruitful paradigm,
An age full of wonder
and rewarding gifts,
Unfurl your angelic
wings and soar on high!
On this re-birthing day, I feel I should talk about this new-beginning story...
I'm a survivor of a couple of bad abusive/alcoholic marriages. If you see again the De Niro movie "Raging Bull" (newly out on 30th anniversary blu-ray edition), in it notice the role of the abused wife. She
was very much ME years ago! When I first saw that movie, it was a short while
after I had divorced a jealous abusive spouse (schizophrenic) where I barely
got out of there with my life in the middle of the night - after 3 yrs of putting up with him - all bruised
up, with bleeding scratches on my face & neck and an injured
eardrum from his blows to my face. (Yes, I fought back! But he was a 6' tall body-builder.)
I left only with what I could pack in my crew bag, with NO place to
go but to a hotel with some fellow Eastern Airlines Flight Attendant friends who took me in and paid for the
taxi ride that took me there at 1:00am. I was happy to have a roof over
my head even if I was sleeping on the floor. Later, I even visited a
women's shelter in Newark for assistance. It was Summer 1986 and I had
just turned 24. He still followed me for weeks, and I was always fearful
that one day he would kill me.... but of course, he "loved me"! Back then I truly thought that my love was all we needed to make this marriage work. Whew!!
So many things (jealousy fights) in that movie were exactly as what I had lived in that marriage too. To this day, I still cannot see that movie... nor "Sleeping with the Enemy"... too close for comfort! But the moral of this story is that if I could do that, survive & move away from that marriage in spite of all odds, having no money, etc.... then you all can certainly do it too. Start afresh leaving all FEAR behind!!
I cannot even begin to tell you the feeling of freedom and rebirth that you can feel from ending an unloving & dysfunctional relationship. You simply don't see the light at the end of the tunnel while you're IN the murky waters!! Then afterwards, the sky is the limit and you're fearless in life! Regardless of IF whether you ever find a suitable loving partner later or not. "Mejor sólo que mal acompañado!"... and I am co-dependent NO MORE!!
So many things (jealousy fights) in that movie were exactly as what I had lived in that marriage too. To this day, I still cannot see that movie... nor "Sleeping with the Enemy"... too close for comfort! But the moral of this story is that if I could do that, survive & move away from that marriage in spite of all odds, having no money, etc.... then you all can certainly do it too. Start afresh leaving all FEAR behind!!
I cannot even begin to tell you the feeling of freedom and rebirth that you can feel from ending an unloving & dysfunctional relationship. You simply don't see the light at the end of the tunnel while you're IN the murky waters!! Then afterwards, the sky is the limit and you're fearless in life! Regardless of IF whether you ever find a suitable loving partner later or not. "Mejor sólo que mal acompañado!"... and I am co-dependent NO MORE!!
Just when you think
you can't or won't get anything better, something better always comes along! Take a
leap of faith in that Spirit will take care of you if you give your
intent & prayers for something wonderful and deserving. A better world starts with YOU!
Namaste
